gifts of rituals

served in 5 courses (with lots of pictures)

Apr 06, 2025

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a dinner with Nom Supper Club. It took place in the home of the hosts, culinary duo Jaide Truskolaski and Aidan Dillon. I arrived a couple minutes after 6:30 with my friend Lauren. We took off our shoes and walked inside to see a table full of fresh crudités and the sounds of bar italia playing softly in the background. The lighting was warm and non-intrusive, and the space was humming with gentle excitement. A few other guests had already arrived, and we pleasantly greeted each other. Everyone told me their names, and I started to worry I would instantly forget them (I did- which is in no way a reflection of the people I met but rather of my minds inability to hold onto detailed information). We shared a bit about what we do for work, for pleasure, and the kinds of wisdom our professions and passions have provided us.

There’s an excitement and discomfort to sharing an intimate meal with strangers. This wasn’t my first experience like this, as I have hosted a couple of dinners for a group of 6 strangers (via soup sisters <3), but nerves accompany me every time as the reality of social exhaustion sets in. However, there is something beautiful that also happens every time; throughout the evening, first impressions melt away to reveal the wholeness and humanity of every individual in the room. Moreover, you get to be seen in your wholeness and humanity, too. As I finished my drink (a sumac and pomegranate creation that made my taste buds dance), we made our way to sit at Jaide & Aidan’s hand-built pink dining table which was garnished by tomatoes on the vine, scarlet tapers, and beautiful florals in various lipstick hues.

1. Crudités & Clarity

Before the second course arrived, a guest named Skelly introduced the conversation around the chosen topic of ritual. We split off in pairs to exchange our thoughts on the theme, and discuss the homework we did in preparation for the dinner; asking a loved one what ritual means to them. I asked my friend Kassra, who gladly told me about his family’s rituals around Persian New Year, which happened a few weeks ago. I have known Kassra for over 10 years, but getting to see the Haft Seen his family put together as well as hearing about the other beautiful annual traditions they uphold gave me such a deeper appreciation and understanding of him, and by extension, of our friendship. Through our exchange, the first gift of rituals revealed itself to me; the ability to see each other more clearly. Our conversations at the dinner party came to a sudden and pregnant pause when the plates of the second course were set in front of each of us.

course two - brussles w/ caramelized onion, cherry, pistachio, mint, beet puree. topped with white chocolate.

2. Brussels Sprouts & Returning

Once the novelty of the delicious cruciferous vegetables settled down a bit, we came back together to reflect on rituals as a group. Folks shared what their rituals looked like; in community or in solitude, and as we tried to think of the antonym of ritual, realized how loose the parameters are around what a ritual actually is. It reminded me of a quote I heard from Vicky Tsai, “the difference between a routine and a ritual is intention”. Then appeared the second gift of rituals, as I shared with the group how I feel rituals are like waves continuously returning to the shore; they are the constant act of returning to the self. They encourage us to prioritize our selves and our wellbeing. One ritual that always brings me home to myself is lymphatic massage, by dry brushing my body and follow it up with a handmade body oil. While I do this, I thank each part of my body and appreciate the way it carries me and supports me through living. It never fails to make me feel a bit closer to myself, regardless of how I feel about my body that day.

course three - citrus salad w/ blood orange, sumo, mandarin, fennel, pickled beet, shallot, capers, olive, and thai basil oil

3. Citrus & Imperfection

The third course was a fresh and delicious flat salad that left the perfect swirls of pink and green juices on the otherwise empty plates. During this course, some of the guests mentioned that rituals can make them feel overwhelmed, as though they are making promises to themselves they then must fulfill. I can relate to this, as I think we have all set the intention to care for ourselves in a way that ultimately fell through, but the third gift of rituals is that they do not require our perfection. Our rituals are always there for us, and I don’t think missing them or skipping them causes us harm; if anything, it might bring us closer to our rituals because we realize how much they mean to us. Alternatively, we can choose to release the rituals that no longer serve us.

course four - cabbage with miso marinade, sumac, peanut sauce and pear

4. Cabbage & Grief

Now, cabbage is not my favorite vegetable, but the way this marinated cabbage was perfectly flavored and charred was both nourishing and comforting. It was rich, but not heavy, and had the perfect combination of salty, umami and sweet. At this point, many of us were getting full. Still, I nibbled my way to a near empty plate as the conversation started to turn towards a deeper, more sentimental note. One person shared a ritual their family shares each year on the anniversary of the death of their sibling; another person shared the loss their partner felt when his family neglected a holiday ritual they had upheld since his childhood. Thus brought the fourth gift of rituals; the powerful ability to not only grieve our losses, but keep our loved ones and memories close.

course five - pot de creme with citrus, thyme whip and pomegranate molasses

5. Pot de Creme & Connection

After Jaide and Aidan placed the final course in front of us, a delightful vegan pot de creme, they sat down with us and we asked what their rituals were. They shared some memories from earlier years, what they do each morning they host a dinner, and their dreams of future rituals (particularly around nom supper club). This is the fifth gift of rituals- the ability to connect to our past, present, and future selves. To bring our dreams to practice, and above all, to uphold the non-verbal agreement to continually choose ourselves and each other.

Thank you, nom supper club, for a delightful evening full of fascinating conversation, pleasant company, and delicious food. If you are local to the Twin Cities, I highly recommend attending a nom dinner in the future, or finding (or starting!) a way to dine with strangers wherever you reside.

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